77: The Savage Curtain: would abe lincoln wear pants like this or like this

Special guest Rosa joins us to discuss TOS season 3 episode “The Savage Curtain” …! We talk about books and centaurs for a while, then actually start the episode by discussing actual human presidents and the political situation of the Federation. There are no marching bands in space, and in the future you can say any slur you want.

Everyone has captions on. Zizek would hate this episode. War bad.

We’re back, buds! The podcast is back! What if Liam Neeson played Abe Lincoln? Listen to the show to find out!

two pictures of a dog. in one, the dog has pants on its hind legs only and the pants cover its rear. in the second image it has pants that cover all four legs but only come up to the top of each leg. at the bottom it says 'if a dog wore pants would he wear them like this or like this' indicating the two images above.

This episode was recorded in mid-September, 2018, before Kanye West was cancelled. Many Bothans died to bring you this recording.

76: The Cloud Minders: read the bread book

We watched TOS season 3 episode “The Cloud Minders” and started a communist revolution inside our podcast!!!! there’s oppressed workers and thinly veiled metaphors that we discover used to be even less thinly veiled and the whole thing rules, it turns out. watch the episode, listen to the podcast, and read the bread book, in that order. that’s my advice. thank you.

75: The Way To Eden: u don’t need to be a brain genius


we watched star trek TOS season 3 episode “the way to eden” and boy are our arms tired!


ok, look, there’s space hippies, chelsea talks about getting kettled, and everyone enjoys some gentle space tunes. spock’s harp is discussed. did we mention the space hippies? they fuckin.

put an egg on your shirt and don your headphones, it’s time for the long trek home!


74: Requiem for Methuselah: Don’t Let Anyone Trick You Into Drawing Their Fursona

everyone’s dying of ADHD and the fate of the enterprise rests with an old man and his robot daughter/wife who has seventeen degrees and is interested in literally everything. the ritalin monopoly must be toppled … in space.

we watched the star trek original series season 3 episode “Requiem for Methuselah” and had ourselves a time!

73: The Lights of Zetar: Live from Memory Alpha, It’s Saturday Night

This week, SEM brings us intrepid reporting live from Memory Alpha as we watch the Star Trek TOS season 3 episode “The Lights of Zetar” …!

Scotty falls in love with some lettuce, shields are a war crime, and another cloud menaces the Enterprise. For season 3, this was startlingly watchable!

72: That Which Survives: spacetheists

Just like a computer ghost, we managed to survive watching Star Trek TOS season 3’s “That Which Survives” and I think you should be proud of us for that feat.

In this episode, we learn some geography and geology, discuss podcast listening habits, and Spock is a total asshole for no good reason. Also, Kirk makes some strange assumptions about ghosts.

Boldly go and listen!

71: The Mark of Gideon: A Wicker Man Spinoff

The intrepid crew of Long Trek Home watched TOS Season 3 episode “The Mark of Gideon” and had a bad time. Chelsea veers wildly off-topic at every opportunity while SEM valiantly tries to keep things on track.

A woman wears a bizarre and terrible outfit. Overcrowding is woefully misunderstood, people walk in circles, and in space no one can hear you scream unless you’re not actually in space and then they can.

Recorded July 9, 2018

70: Let That Be Your Last Battlefield: Shut Up

this time, SEM’s friend Arras (@Animus_Panthera) joined us to discuss Star Trek TOS episode “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield” …!

Everyone ignores each other a lot as the same questions are asked time and time again. 50,000 years seems like a reasonable amount of time to have grown tired of promises of incremental change. Lokai was right. Oh, yeah, and this is the episode with the dudes with half black/half white faces.

Recorded in April 2018.

Note: Arras’ audio came through extremely quiet on the audio despite seeming fine while we were recording. I’ve done my best with it, but if audio levels are weird on this one, I apologize.

69: Whom Gods Destroy: nice

episode 69 …. nice

in the star trek future, the only mental illness left is Doing War Crimes! oh, serial killing, also, that’s another mental illness. everything else is fine, and those are fine now too because of magic space drugs. things get goofy this episode.

recorded february 2018. spoilers for black panther.

68: Elaan of Troyius: It’s Over 9000

we watched the TOS episode “Elaan of Troyius” with our friend Jeff @heyboots! this bizarre take on taming of the shrew is not very good, probably, but at least kirk/enterprise is confirmed once again. good job, TOS!

here’s jeff’s utena let’s play: link

AUDIO WARNING: chelsea lost her good microphone so she sounds like she lives in a basement toilet for this episode. oops