Episode 35: The Doomsday Machine: The Phantom Edit

im really sick this week so like : we watched an episode that’s a moby dick fanfic set during the cold war but also in space. please listen to our good star trek show. we’re in the middle of TOS right now, as usual.

next week will probably have no episode. im sorry. its holidays.

this ep was extra-short so there’s a lot of errata at the end, enjoy i guess

Episode 34: The Apple: Terrible

The mission to watch all of Star Trek, forever, continues! We’re still in the midst of the original series. “The Apple” is a hell of an episode. Get this: it’s a bad episode of Trek.

Chelsea is sick and tired, KarnacaCast isn’t happening, and SEM is the only person who was paying attention to anything. Chelsea loses it over the medical neglect regarding Vulcan officers. Chekov’s gimmick comes into play and it rules. Papier-mâché robot snake cave sets, little orange people, and Kirk experiencing survivor’s guilt – it’s all here.

COMPUTER EAT ROCK. IT’S FINE.

Episode 33: Mirror, Mirror: Oiling My Traps IRL

Long Trek Home got trapped in a parallel universe where everyone is evil, but now the hosts have broken through and the editor has finished editing a weeks-old episode. No one’s evil on the podcast, but they sure are on Star Trek’s “Mirror, Mirror.” Which we watched.

This time, mining rights are debated, Starfleet has questionable safety regulations, and we learn that mirror Uhura wears a really dope uniform. Chelsea misuses the word “opsec” but successfully deploys a fast food marketing slogan. SEM points out how many Kirks there have been. It’s a good time.

Listen, share, whatever! We love you.

 

Episode 32: The Changeling: That’s Not How Mythology Works

We’re back, at last! Sorry for the missed week. A whole host of current events happened, y’all! The schedule resumes as usual now. This week – or last week, technically – we watched the Star Trek: The Original Series episode “The Changeling.” This is the one with … well, a computer blows up again.

Kirk has a beautiful cylindrical son and we learn the true meaning of family, which is: destroy your cylindrical boy with logic before he can hurt you. SEM’s wife guest stars with us!

Also, something happens to Uhura this episode that never gets brought up ever again. That’s weird, right? It’s super weird.

Please enjoy our show. We love you.

Episode X: SEASON 1 WRAP UP: NO SUBTITLES NO MASTERS

This is a Star Trek podcast. We watched all of TOS season 1. Now we’re going to watch season 2.

This episode has our favorite episodes from S1! We rank them! Please have a nice time!

Thanks.

Episode 31: Who Mourns for Adonais?: I weep for Adonais—he is dead!

We’re still watching Star Trek, and this time we’ve hit the TOS episode “Who Mourns for Adonais?” This is the one with Apollo!

Kirk is a huge Ancient Aliens fan, Chekov rules, a costume requires glue, and we figure out the inspirations behind everything in the show Steven Universe. This is somehow the horniest episode of Trek we’ve seen yet, and we just did Amok Time.

 

TALLIES:

Omnipotent beings this episode: 1

Omnipotent beings: 9

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Crew deaths: 29 (Gold: 7, Blue: 5, Red: 6, Unknown Crew: 11)

Other deaths this episode: 0

Others: 49 + 1 Klingon ship (unknown number of crew)

Total deaths: 78 + 1 ship

Episode 30: Amok Time: Chekov’s Here!

Chekov is here! Everyone! We made it to Chekov!

Our mission to watch every episode of Star Trek gets even easier with the advent of our good Russian space friend. This time, we watched the first episode of season 2 of the original series, “Amok Time.” The is the one with pon farr!

We rejoice in the advent of Chekov, Spock is a grumpy boy who throws his soup, secrets aren’t kept for long, Kirk loves space NPR and is up to date with politics, and, oh, yeah, there’s a fight to the death and Spock’s mad space horny or whatever. No big deal. Did I mention Chekov yet?

TALLIES:

Omnipotent beings: 8

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Crew deaths: 29 (Gold: 7, Blue: 5, Red: 6, Unknown Crew: 11)

Other deaths this episode: 0

Others: 49 + 1 Klingon ship (unknown number of crew)

Total deaths: 78 + 1 ship

Episode 29: Operation: Annihilate!: Let’s: Punctuate!

At last, we’ve reached our first waypoint – it’s the end of season one of Star Trek: The Original series! Our mission continues, but for now, we talk about the episode “Operation: Annihilate!” and all the wonders it contains. This is the one with the giant brain cells!

This time, we fail to meet Kirk’s brother, some guy Icaruses himself, there’s a whole lot of screaming from the Denevans, and the aliens just love to squeak. Spock gets brutally owned by a wobbly flying pancake, Bones blinds us with science, and Kirk has the least important nephew of all time.

TALLIES

Omnipotent beings: 8

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Crew deaths: 29 (Gold: 7, Blue: 5, Red: 6, Unknown Crew: 11)

Other deaths this episode: 2

Others: 49 + 1 Klingon ship (unknown number of crew)

Total deaths: 78 + 1 ship

Episode 28: The City on the Edge of Forever: “Repent, Harlan!” Says the Podcast Host

Our effort to watch all of Star Trek forever continues, and we’re finally at that one episode Harlan Ellison wrote for TOS. It’s the Hugo award-winning “The City on the Edge of Forever!” This is the one where Bones get blotchy! We’re joined by SEM’s elusive ghost friend David.

Disclaimer: There’s some huge audio issues in this episode. I’m so sorry. I did my best.

Anyway, this time, we discover the links between Trek and Mission Impossible, ponder the implications of the Assassins Creed crossover, think about Clark Gable movies, and appreciate the color coding of the cast’s outfits. Bones drugs himself, Spock is obviously Chinese, mnemonic memory devices can be made out of garbage,

Also, SEM reads our first review out loud because it’s very good.

TALLIES

Omnipotent beings: 8

Crew deaths: 29 (Gold: 7, Blue: 5, Red: 6, Unknown Crew: 11)

Others: 47 + 1 Klingon ship (unknown number of crew)

Total deaths: 76 + 1 ship

Episode 27: The Alternative Factor: The Elements of Beard Style

We’re still watching Star Trek: The Original series, and we’re almost through season one! This time, we watched “The Alternative Factor.” This one doesn’t have Drew Barrymore’s dad in it! Also, Chelsea’s mom guest stars again. Go follow her on Instagram.

This time, a guest on the Enterprise isn’t immediately given a uniform, psychedelic visual effects are repeated, and an away team goes down to the surface and back at least three times. This episode isn’t very good. Of TOS, I mean. Our podcast is good. Please listen to us and don’t ever watch this one (again?) unless you’re a completist.

TALLIES

Omnipotent beings: 7

Crew deaths: 29 (Gold: 7, Blue: 5, Red: 6, Unknown Crew: 11)

Others: 45 + 1 Klingon ship (unknown number of crew)

Total deaths: 74 + 1 ship