Episode 55: Assignment: Earth: Your New Favorite Millennial History Podcast

we watched the final episode of star trek TOS season 2 – “assignment: earth”

it’s a failed pilot for a show that never happened, and your intrepid hosts don’t need long to figure out why.

chelsea and sem get on a conference call with guest host jeff to talk about space conference calls, failed pilots, and stock footage. google teaches us all about half-remembered history. also, there’s a cat.

bonus: listen to this dope mashup of 99 red balloons x 99 problems

Episode 54: Bread and Circuses: Slaves to the NHS

this episode forces us to dig into the nitty gritty of slavery and also jesus. chelsea doesn’t go in depth with marxist theory. modern day rome has a tv station that is a point of contention between the hosts. spock and bones do a lot of fighting for plot purposes. kirk has a dubious interaction with a woman. merikus is a tragic figure, but like, in the classical sense probably?

 

just read the water margin instead of watching this episode of star trek. but definitely listen to this podcast first.

 

CORRECTION: toward the end of the episode – it was emperor constantine, not emperor augustus.

Episode 52: The Omega Glory: A Star Captain’s Most Solemn Oath

In this very special Memorial Day episode, which was absolutely recorded that way on purpose, we swear, we watched Star Trek: TOS episode “The Omega Glory.” You should absolutely watch “The Omega Glory” ASAP. Please, it is incredible and neither of us can figure out how or why it got made.

Things get patriotic, we solve an anatomical riddle of the future, talk about mummies, and recite the pledge of allegiance as badly as possible. There’s a bullshit space disease and a mad captain, which would be a fine episode if left on their own, but then … well … uh …  Something something red scare, I don’t know. Just watch. Or listen. It gets wild.

Episode 51: By Any Other Name: Space Invaders

SEM and Chelsea are still watching season 2 of Star Trek: The Original Series! This time, we watched “By Any Other Name,” an episode about horrifying tentacle monsters who basically just look like human beings who make slightly off fashion choices.

This episode is extremely topical because we make references to orbs again, the hot new craze everyone loves and worships. Oh, and the Enterprise gets taken over by secret tentacle monsters or whatever. Seriously, we never see their true forms. Scotty makes a beautiful sacrifice, Kirk is a femme fatale, and Spock is secretly pretty conniving.

Also: the secret origins of our Soundcloud beef REVEALED!

Episode 50: Patterns of Force: Uniform Thieves Anonymous

it’s the nazi episode. there’s nazis, but in space!

this is a weird, weird episode. but it’s not bad? there’s unsubtle metaphor, non-metaphor, and just so much heil-ing. so much. we barely mention it in the episode, but trust me, it’s ever-present in this episode.

anyway, nazis bad, enterprise good, spock wears a bunch of hats. listen to the episode to hear us puzzle over many things!

Episode 49: Return to Tomorrow: Podcaster’s Fiat

We’re still on season 2 of TOS, folks, the Star Trek season that never ends. This time we watched “Return to Tomorrow.”

A terrible man of online haunts this episode like a grim spectre. Bodies are stolen, women are real, and we love orb. Chelsea gets mad at a lot of things this time. SEM knows what’s going on, and appreciates the details of science. Neither knows what warp speed actually is.

Episode 48: A Private Little War: Full Metal Vest

Warning – This episode has some pretty heavy themes, including some very rape-y bits.

Our mission to watch all of Star Trek continues. We’re in the middle of season 2, and watched “A Private Little War.”

Anyway, hey, this episode sure is a Vietnam War metaphor, huh?????? Boy howdy.

Nona has an amazing vest.

You may notice an episode missing in the feed! Various disasters transpired and that episode is temporarily lost – having the program crash and the file get corrupted TWICE while trying to edit’ll put a dent in posting, you dig? It will be up eventually but may be out of sequence.

Also, we’re so sorry for the delay in posting anything! There were vacations, conventions, the aforementioned crashes and file corruptions, and a bunch of other things that got in the way. Hopefully we’ll be back on track now!

Episode 46: A Piece of the Action: A Piece of the Action

You know that episode of Star Trek: The Original Series where there’s just a whole planet full of gangsters? This is that one.

People get kidnapped over and over, the phrase ‘a piece of the action’ is said about a hundred times, and Kirk wears a terrible hat. There’s an entire society based on a novelty oversized book about gangsters. Knife kid is gone too soon.

We love this episode. Please watch it.

Episode 45: The Gamesters of Triskelion: Gone Galt

The quest to watch all of Star Trek continues, this time with TOS episode “The Gamesters of Triskelion”…!

Chelsea watched this episode two weeks before the episode and can’t decipher her notes, SEM is the only one who can pronounce Ayn Rand, and we all learn important lessons about Jiffy Pop. For once Chekov doesn’t want to fuck, synonyms for slavery are discussed, and bets are placed. Also, we have questions about Lars.

Oh, also dinner trays are great teaching tools.