Episode 26: Errand of Mercy: You Can’t Just Call A Guy Kirk

NOTE: THIS VERSION OF THE EPISODE DOESN’T HAVE ANY INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC. THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE. SORRY? ENJOY?

We’re still watching Star Trek, and you can’t stop us! Season one of the original series rolls ever onward with its 26th episode, “Errand of Mercy.” This is the one where the Klingons show up!

The Organians are Armenia, the Klingons are the USSR, and the Federation is the US military circa 2003. Kirk and Spock get some great costumes, this episode would make a good video game, and Kor is simultaneously cool and sort of a weird racist caricature. There’s a lot to deal with in this one, y’all.

 

IMPORTANT LINKS:

QWOP 

Friends at the Table

TALLIES

Omnipotent beings: 7

Crew deaths: 29 (Gold: 7, Blue: 5, Red: 6, Unknown Crew: 11)

Others: 45 + 1 Klingon ship (unknown number of crew)

Total deaths: 74 + 1 ship

 

Episode 25: The Devil In The Dark: Asbestos Lessons

Our quest to watch every single episode of Star Trek ever continues as we shamble toward the close of the first season of the original series. This week, we watched “The Devil In The Dark.” This is the one with the lava monster!

 

Redshirts die, misunderstandings are had, and there’s a fiery noise. Some rowdy boys with clubs cause a ruckus and Spock mind-melds with a silicon-based life form. Also, we talk chemistry and geology for a while, because what else did you expect?

Episode 24: This Side of Paradise: Thank You Based Fontana

Our quest to watch every single episode of Star Trek ever continues as we shamble toward the close of the first season of the original series. This week, we watched “This Side of Paradise.” This is the one where Spock no longer has tfw no gf!

This time, we learn all about Bertold Rays, Spock catches feelings, Spore is a bad video game, and an important fanfiction trope is born. The week’s soft focus blonde joneses for Spock for once, McCoy’s southern drawl turns it to 11, and Kirk gets into a fist-fight with Spock to save the Enterprise. It’s very good.

DEATH TOLLS + MISCELLANY

Omnipotent beings: 6

Crew Deaths: 28 total (7 Gold, 5 Blue, 5 Red, 11 Unknown)

Non-crew Deaths: 43

Total deaths: 71

Episode 23: A Taste of Armageddon: War Never Changes

We watched “A Taste of Armageddon” from Star Trek: The Original Series this week, and then we talked about it! No guests, just right. This is the one with the serious Cold War overtones!

 

Fox is good at diplomacy but bad at being a decent person, Anan 7 has a number in his name, and a 500 year war is waged by computers. No, it doesn’t make much sense. It’s still pretty great.

 

updated numbers to be edited in later

Episode 22: Space Seed: VH1’s I Love The 90’s!

Our endless mission to watch all of Star Trek continues, this time with “Space Seed.” This is the episode with Khan!

McGivers needs to get her act together and get a better writer, some 90’s fashion is predicted almost successfully, and Khan is a very good villain. Now imagine him listening to a Jock Jams cassette tape. History is revealed, timelines confused, and Kirk makes some terrible choices.

 

Total Omnipotent Beings Encountered: 6

Total Crew Deaths: 28 (Gold: 7, Blue: 5, Red: 5, Unknown: 11)

Non-Crew Deaths: 38

Total Deaths: 66

Episode 21: Return of the Archons: We Don’t Talk About The Purge

Hey, it’s a Star Trek podcast! We watched The Return of the Archons this week. That’s the episode where Spock’s got a stylish cloak!

This time, SEM’s dad Pete guest stars. Sulu is never the star, things are different in the valley, and what’s good for the body is a little puzzling. It is the will of Landru that you will listen to this belated episode.

A note to our listeners: we had to re-record this episode because of a computer crash that ate the first recording. Whoops! It’s here now. Shh. It’s OK. Next week should be back on track. Hopefully. Maybe?

Death counts/etc will return next week, something went awry.

Episode 20: Court Martial: I Am The Law

Our fifty year voyage to watch every last episode of Star Trek continues apace. This time, we watch “Court Martial,” from season one of Star Trek: The Original Series! This is the one with the court martial.

This time, the teaser dares to ask whether or not Kirk will have to be court martialed, the title spoils that he will, and space fashion reigns supreme on Starbase 11. Recusal doesn’t exist in space, computers are confusing, and Deep Blue is just a dream in a butterfly’s eye.

Please put Hatsune Miku in Star Trek.

Note: there are some audio issues in this episode.

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 6

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 28 (7 gold, 5 blue, 5 red, 11 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 64

Episode 19: Tomorrow Is Yesterday: R O W D Y B O Y

Our five year mission to watch all of Star Trek continues on apace, this time with the TOS episode “Tomorrow Is Yesterday.” This is the one where they time travel again! … Not the only one.

In this episode, time travel is the best thing to happen to continuity, Kirk is a horny boy, things get rowdy, and Captain John Christopher is not a captain in Starfleet and shouldn’t be allowed a uniform. Did we mention how rowdy it gets? Please watch this episode. It really is chicken noodle soup!

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 6

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 28 (7 gold, 5 blue, 5 red, 11 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 64

Episode 18: Arena: Gorn to Be Wild

Our five hundred year mission to watch all 728 episodes of Star Trek continues with the TOS episode “Arena.” This is the one with the gorn!

This time, Chelsea forgets her show notes again, though Memory Alpha saves the day, and we learn way more trivia than usual. Gorn have CGI eyelids, Vasquez Rock guest stars again, and the Metrons get way too many nicknames. Also, Kirk figures out the crafting system way too late in the game.

Omnipotent beings this episode: 1

Total omnipotent being count: 6

Crew deaths this episode: 3

Total crew deaths: 28 (7 gold, 5 blue, 5 red, 11 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 64

Episode 17: The Squire of Gothos: [Zybourne Clock joke]

Greetings and felicitations, listeners! Our neverending mission to watch all of Star Trek continues with the Original series episode “The Squire of Gothos.” This is the one with the baby Q!

This time, we learn about biomes and ecosystems, Sulu doesn’t duel anyone, breaking a mirror doesn’t bring bad luck, and your hosts plan a theater production. Also, Kirk plays the most dangerous game and somehow fails to rip his shirt in the process.

And a reminder to subscribe to the show in iTunes, Stitcher, or whatever your favorite podcast-listenin’ application is for timely updates because sometimes we forget to update other places?

This, darling, is the Squire of Gothos.

Omnipotent beings this episode: 1

Total omnipotent being count: 5

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 25 (6 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 11 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 61