Episode 20: Court Martial: I Am The Law

Our fifty year voyage to watch every last episode of Star Trek continues apace. This time, we watch “Court Martial,” from season one of Star Trek: The Original Series! This is the one with the court martial.

This time, the teaser dares to ask whether or not Kirk will have to be court martialed, the title spoils that he will, and space fashion reigns supreme on Starbase 11. Recusal doesn’t exist in space, computers are confusing, and Deep Blue is just a dream in a butterfly’s eye.

Please put Hatsune Miku in Star Trek.

Note: there are some audio issues in this episode.

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 6

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 28 (7 gold, 5 blue, 5 red, 11 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 64

Episode 19: Tomorrow Is Yesterday: R O W D Y B O Y

Our five year mission to watch all of Star Trek continues on apace, this time with the TOS episode “Tomorrow Is Yesterday.” This is the one where they time travel again! … Not the only one.

In this episode, time travel is the best thing to happen to continuity, Kirk is a horny boy, things get rowdy, and Captain John Christopher is not a captain in Starfleet and shouldn’t be allowed a uniform. Did we mention how rowdy it gets? Please watch this episode. It really is chicken noodle soup!

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 6

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 28 (7 gold, 5 blue, 5 red, 11 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 64

Episode 18: Arena: Gorn to Be Wild

Our five hundred year mission to watch all 728 episodes of Star Trek continues with the TOS episode “Arena.” This is the one with the gorn!

This time, Chelsea forgets her show notes again, though Memory Alpha saves the day, and we learn way more trivia than usual. Gorn have CGI eyelids, Vasquez Rock guest stars again, and the Metrons get way too many nicknames. Also, Kirk figures out the crafting system way too late in the game.

Omnipotent beings this episode: 1

Total omnipotent being count: 6

Crew deaths this episode: 3

Total crew deaths: 28 (7 gold, 5 blue, 5 red, 11 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 64

Episode 17: The Squire of Gothos: [Zybourne Clock joke]

Greetings and felicitations, listeners! Our neverending mission to watch all of Star Trek continues with the Original series episode “The Squire of Gothos.” This is the one with the baby Q!

This time, we learn about biomes and ecosystems, Sulu doesn’t duel anyone, breaking a mirror doesn’t bring bad luck, and your hosts plan a theater production. Also, Kirk plays the most dangerous game and somehow fails to rip his shirt in the process.

And a reminder to subscribe to the show in iTunes, Stitcher, or whatever your favorite podcast-listenin’ application is for timely updates because sometimes we forget to update other places?

This, darling, is the Squire of Gothos.

Omnipotent beings this episode: 1

Total omnipotent being count: 5

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 25 (6 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 11 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 61

Episode 16: The Galileo Seven: FREE THE GALILEO 7

Our five decade mission to watch all of Star Trek continues, with original series episode THE GALILEO SEVEN. This is the one with the giant spears falling from the sky!

This week, we learn about quasars and the Folsom point, get sick and tired of Spock’s logic, and admire Commissioner Ferris’ space fashions. Spears are thrown poorly, half-revealed aliens are less frightening than one might think, and phasers are more powerful than any of us realized.

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 4

Crew deaths this episode: 3 (2 gold, 1 unknown)

Total crew deaths: 25 (6 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 11 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 61

Note: this episode went up last week, but the syndication is a LITTLE broken so it didn’t go up here! If you want timely/reliable episode notifications, subscribe in your favorite podcast listening app.

Episode 15: Shore Leave

 

Our mission to watch every episode of Star Trek continues with TOS episode 15, “Shore Leave!” This is the one with a terrible faux-Irish song! Sorry about this episode’s audio quality.

 

Our boys finally get some rest, we meet a new yeoman, and everyone thinks they’re hallucinating or something even though they’re clearly not. Spock’s stuck on the ship for most of the episode because if he wasn’t, everyone would have figured out the game much sooner. Sulu fights a samurai, tiger stock footage is rolled out for our amusement, and no one remembers the word “barrows.” Also, the white rabbit shows up!

 

ALSO: SEM’s mom joins us to discuss the episode AND to discuss a museum exhibit in Seattle, Star Trek: Exploring New Worlds at the Experience Music Project.

 

The chill cult mentioned in the episode is the Aetherius Society, by the way. (And cult probably isn’t the right word.)

 

Omnipotent beings this episode: 1

Total omnipotent being count: 4

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 22 (4 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 10 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 61

 

Note: this episode went up a good while ago but the syndication is a LITTLE broken so it didn’t go up here! If you want timely/reliable episode notifications, subscribe in your favorite podcast listening app.

 

Episode 14: Balance of Terror: No Country for Old Space Men

The neverending story continues and we yet endeavor to watch all of Star Trek forever; this week we talk about Balance of Terror, the fourteenth episode of the original series! What hijinks do the crew of the Enterprise get in this week? Hint: this is the one where we first meet the Romulans!

 

This time, we meet the Romulans, an important lesson about space racism is learned, the story is split between our crew and some new friends we demand fanfic about, and . Kirk and a Romulan commander try to outfox each other, and I refuse to make jokes about Spock’s dad. They’re facile and boring and we shan’t sink that low. Also, we pitch a game to Bioware or Bethesda or whoever.

 

Oh Commander! my Commander! our fearful trip is done

 

 

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 3

Crew deaths this episode: 2 [one is a starfleet officer technically not on the ship]

Total crew deaths: 22 (4 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 10 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 5

Total deaths: 61
Read more at http://longtrekhome.libsyn.com/#JqqxJrOYl8m4wfrx.99

Episode 13: The Conscience of the King: You Never Go Full Ophelia

As we continue our five trillion year voyage to watch all of Star Trek, we end up watching some Shakespeare instead! I mean, we watch Star Trek: The Original Series episode 13, “The Conscience of the King.” It’s the one where Lady Macbeth is played by Macbeth’s daughter!

This time, we ponder space hookups, Kirk pulls a Hamlet (but with less eyeliner), no one tells Spock anything so he googles that shit, and also there’s a war criminal. Space fashion plays a critical role, and Riley is almost sympathetic for once. Remember, dear listeners: you never go full Ophelia.

Omnipotent beings this episode: 0

Total omnipotent being count: 3

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 20 (2 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 10 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 2

Total deaths: 52

Episode 12: The Menagerie pt. 1 & 2: The Cage 2: Electric Boogaloo

This week on our five hundred year mission to watch all of Trek in order, it’s episodes 11 & 12 of TOS, “The Menagerie!” This is the one that brings the show’s episode numbers in line with the podcast episode numbers!

 

We covered both parts in this episode, but completely skipped all the stuff that happened in the Cage. Except for Pike’s extra-short bed. Spock does a mutiny, Pike doesn’t know Morse code, there are a few issues we’re too lazy to touch on, and also other things?!

 

Seriously, we thought this episode was going to end up doubly long, but so much of the runtime is just The Cage. So you get to listen to a double episode that’s as long as a regular episode!

 

No updates to the tallies.

 

Sorry for the belated update to the website, some automation went awry! Make sure to subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher or Google Play for the most timely possible update notifications.

Episode 11: The Corbomite Maneuver: Please Let My Boy Rest: Please Let All of Them Have a Nice Nap

Our eleventh episode is Star Trek: The Original Series’ tenth, The Corbomite Maneuver! This is the one with the spinning cube!

This time, we come up with a Hugo-award winning story idea, run the space race, talk about time cube, and find something alarming about space physicals. The Enterprise fires her phasers at an enemy vessel for the first time, Spock tells a joke, and Bailey’s secret connection to the Dragon Age franchise is revealed. No wonder they can’t wait to get rid of him.

Omnipotent beings this episode: 1

Total omnipotent being count: 3

Crew deaths this episode: 0

Total crew deaths: 20 (2 gold, 4 blue, 4 red, 10 unknown)

Non-crew deaths this episode: 0

Total deaths: 50